The Zac Files

Am I Making It Up or Did This Actually Happen? Reflections on Memories That Could Go Either Way March 17, 2013

Three Guys and a Camera

I have very little doubt about this story, as video evidence of it still exists. The timestamp shows it happened eleven years ago this week, in fact; Spring break 2002.

My Junior and Senior years of high school were all about performance. I joined Drama Club. I took over the morning announcements. I started to come out of my shell, becoming louder and more visible. I wasn’t whispering a joke at the back of the class anymore, I was up in front delivering it. Whatever the performance, you could be sure Trent and Aaron were also involved.

They were my partners in crime. My funny friends. We were the Three Amigos, sans sombreros. All for one, unless we got caught, in which case blame Trent. We were experimenting with comedy, learning what was funny and, probably more often, what wasn’t. And we were provided with instant replay for all our attempts thanks to a home video camera my dad had purchased, and which I promptly claimed as my own. For whatever reason, we video taped everything we did together. A little younger and we wouldn’t have dared; a little older, we would’ve known better.

A favorite game of ours was to improv interviews and stunts, kind of like a more sophisticated Jackass. Some of these included the ex-lax challenge: each of us chugging a glass of soda, one of them filled with ex-lax, followed by the most terrifying thirty minutes you’ve ever experienced as we waited to find out who had the magic cup. Two of us would regularly sneak into the other’s house and video taped them while they slept, do something to prove we had been there (Trent and I once successfully shaved Aaron’s leg), or sometimes leaving the tape behind for them to find in the morning. Our favorite though was the spontaneous interview. We would go into grocery stores, interview people about their selections of soup, thank them and move on. It was always respectful, never with the intent to embarrass, but always for the performance. And sometimes, we would just get in the car and find something to do. This night in March was one of those times.

Aaron picked Trent and I up. “Grab your camera,” he said. I never questioned the order. Inevitably, one of us always ended up being the cameraman while the other two were talent. Tonight, that duty fell to me. Aaron gave the word, “Start recording.” He always liked to document the process of coming up with the idea. “How much money do you have?” he said to Trent. I never had any money.

Trent knew exactly how much he had. “I just got paid $50 for doing yard work for my folks.” He pulled the crisp fifty dollar bill from his wallet.

“That’s perfect!” Aaron said, an idea starting to grow. He hit the brakes and pulled into the first driveway he saw.

We all got out. I framed Aaron in the shot, waiting for the game plan. “I’m going to knock on the door and ask people if I can take a shower.” The decision had already been made. He didn’t look for Trent or me for any feedback. This was it. We were doing it. Now, this is where hindsight kicks in and says ‘hey, Southern Ohio countryside, 9:30 at night, visiting random houses… maybe not the smartest idea. …or the most socially acceptable thing to do.’ But none of that crossed our minds. We were truly innocent. We were only thinking about the comedy.

Aaron knocked. I panned the camera to Trent, who looked back with the same ‘I wonder how this will go?’ look that I was giving on the opposite side of the lens. A few seconds later, the door opens, and a 50 year old woman greets us. Aaron, the best BS-artist I’ve ever met in my life, starts right in: “Hey hi, my name’s Aaron. I was wondering if you can help me out.” His voice conveyed playful urgency. “My friend here said he’d pay me fifty dollars if I took a shower in a stranger’s house.” The game was set.

“Show her!” Trent obeyed and pulled the fifty from his wallet and displayed it. I panned back to the woman, who was genuinely laughing as Aaron continued his pitch. “It’ll take, like, two minutes. I have my own towels. Please.”

The woman considered it for a few seconds, fully aware we were documenting the whole thing, then shook her head with a smile. “No, I’m sorry. I can’t help you.” Aaron didn’t force the issue. He politely bowed and gave a little wave. “Hey, no problem. I understand. Thanks for talking to us.” As we walked away, the woman called out, “Good luck! Have fun!” We got in the car and headed for the next house.

As we went door-to-door, we were greeted with more of the same. Laughter. Smiles. Consideration. But ultimately, no dice. Sometimes nobody answered the door. Sometimes couples would answer it together. Sometimes the people from the house we just visited would peek out their window, see us trying again with their neighbors and laugh one more time.

We were four or five houses down with no luck and quickly approaching our self-imposed 10pm deadline (it’d be weird to knock on people’s doors and ask for a shower after 10pm, we thought). And I had another complication. “I only have about 5 minutes of battery left,” I informed them.

“Well turn it off! Save it!” Aaron said. “Okay, let’s do one more.” We were all a little glum our adventure was going to be cut short and without an ending. But we were about to get it.

Trent surveyed the area. “Hey, doesn’t Tiffany live around here?” Tiffany was the hot girl that had moved to the school that year and either hadn’t figured out yet that we were huge nerds, or didn’t care. We always assumed the latter and liked her for that. She was our friend.

I looked around, not sure myself. I pointed to a group of houses. “I think it’s one of those, but I’m not sure which.” It was enough for Aaron. He picked one and committed to it. We bailed out and quickly ran up to the house. Waiting until the last possible second, I raised the camera and pressed record.

Tiffany greeted us at the door, having seen us pull up. “Hey guys!” she said. She was one of those people who looked put together any time of the day, either because she made sure she always looked good or because she never needed to. Aaron wasted no time, perhaps knowing we only had three minutes of battery left, or maybe just trying to raise the urgency. “I need to use your shower. I will win fifty dollars. Where’s it at?”

Trent shook his head as he pulled out the cash. Tiffany laughed and rolled her eyes. “Fifty dollars?”

“Yeah, I just need it for two minutes. I promise—” We all stopped and turned at a face that appeared in the living room window, Tiffany’s 8 year old brother, with the most confused, scared, speechless look on his face. We exploded in unique but definite cackles.

“Fifty dollars if he takes a shower,” Tiffany relayed to her brother, shaking her head.

“I’ll be quick!”

She finally shrugged. “Okay.”

“Really?!” we all said in unison. We hadn’t expected a positive response and clearly hadn’t thought that far ahead in the plan.

Tiffany herself didn’t seem to believe she had said it either. Maybe she felt it was the reward owed for the evening’s entertainment, or maybe she too was curious to see where this would go. She took a step back and motioned for us to come inside. “It’s downstairs.”

“Awesome! Thank you so much! It’ll just take two minutes.” Aaron said, following her through the door and immediately down the basement stairs. Trent and I trailed close behind, trying to stay with the action, smiles from ear to ear. We were laughing so much that we didn’t immediately process the events that were playing out behind us as we descended the stairs.

The tape later helped me clarify what exactly I’d heard. A deep voice demanding to know “What the hell’s going on?” A younger voice, her brother, answering as best he could, “Some guy said he’d get a fifty dollar bill if Tiffany took him to the shower…”

We rounded the corner and followed them to the bathroom. Aaron and Tiffany’s chatter became inaudible as I began putting the pieces together of the situation that was unfolding upstairs, and feeling my internal threat level color elevate. Once shown the bathroom, Aaron immediately gestured for privacy from all. “Okay, you all stay on this side,” he said as he closed the door.

I turned to Tiffany and started to speak but was immediately cut off by Trent, who it seemed had also caught wind of the heated, damning conversation taking place above, and who made no efforts to hide his alarm.

“Who was that guy?”

“Who?”

“There was a guy. He seemed angry.”

Tiffany thought a second, curiously, then calmly answered, “I’ll go see.” She no sooner turned around to head upstairs when a booming voice called out, “TIFFANY!”

Trent looked directly into the camera, his eyes and mouth wide in panic. The camera immediately went dark; the battery dead.

I dropped it to my side and answered Trent’s petrified look with a helpless one of my own. Without articulating it, we both assumed the worst: her dad is here, he thinks we came to violate his daughter, and he is going to murder us.

Then, time seemed to stand still. We suddenly moved at lightning speed as instinct took over, flight response first. Find an exit! The basement had no doors. The one half-window at the far end was dark, perhaps covered up on the outside, but it didn’t matter. It was blocked from reach by stacks of boxes. It was like a tomb. Hide! Certainly not. This was his territory. I briefly considered hiding in the tanning bed we passed on the way down, but that seemed like the first place he’d look. Nothing here was going to help us, and any chance of reasoning with him by showing the video died with the camera’s battery. It was now useless to me, except as maybe a weapon. I’d save it as a last resort.

Upstairs, we heard Tiffany talking with the voice. I couldn’t make out what was being said, but it sounded almost like pleading; pleading for her friends’ lives!

Trent came to his senses first. “We’ve gotta get Aaron.” Right! Aaron! Had it been only me, I completely would’ve left him to die in a stranger’s shower. Trent threw open the door. Aaron was standing in his boxers, his pants folded neatly and hanging on a rack. He stared quizzically at the shower knobs. “I can’t figure out how to turn–”

Trent didn’t give him time to finish. “We’ve gotta go. Her dad’s here, and he’s pissed!”

Aaron needed no further explanation. He immediately grabbed his pants and started to throw them on. Trent took charge, looking up at the stairs. “Okay. We’re bolting for the front door.” We looked at each other and nodded in acceptance of the new plan.

We waited for the cue.

“Go!”

I think I just imagined the battle cries. We took off in a single-file sprint up the stairs; Trent, then me, then Aaron, pulling the last of his shirt over his head. Tiffany and the scary man stood on opposite sides of the door calmly talking to each other. By the time they noticed us, we were blowing past them with quick offers of gratitude.

“Got it!”

“Thanks!”

“Seeya Monday!”

It was unspoken, but if one of us fell, we were to be left for dead. We winced in anticipation of being drug back in by the hair, but it never came. Suddenly, we were back in the car. “GO!GO!GO!”

“I think I left one of my shirts.”

“There’s no time! Leave it!”

Only when we were finally in motion did we look back. Tiffany and her dad were standing in the same spot, watching as these terrified teenage boys fled the scene. They looked at each other. The last thing I saw was Tiffany’s dad give sort of a cocked-head chuckle, as if saying to her, “These are your friends?”

SKETCH: The First Presidential Debate (2012) October 4, 2012

I don’t write for Saturday Night Live yet, so I thought I would use this political season to try to write at the pace of the SNL writers, about the stories I’m sure they’re writing about right this very second. Below is my sketch about last night’s Presidential Debate. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. 

A Typical Night of Writing (Updated Frequently) October 14, 2011

Getting ready to write a sketch tonight. For me, the prep is just about as important as the actual writing. Step 1: I’ve waited to start until 12:40 AM. Absolutely critical. I’ve sat down at my desk and have immediately searched for a distraction to writing, which in this case is writing this blog post.

On my wall I have post-it notes of things I would like to write. Right now, most of it is ideas for a Community spec script I’m working on, but a few are sketch ideas. There’s no color code for which ones are sketches and which are for the spec (I could only afford two colors of post-it notes). Anyhow, here are a couple of them. I’m considering writing one tonight, unless a better idea comes my way.

I think I’m going to work on the Garmin Recordings sketch. The next step is to leave my computer and do something else while I let ideas drift into my head for this. That begins now.

1:10AM –

I almost always clean my kitchen before I write. It happens to work out that my frequency in writing directly parallels the frequency of my kitchen needing to be clean.

 Kitchen Before

Kitchen After. Most noticable difference: the Coke box was thrown away.

1:50AM-

Kitchen is clean and I start to get sleepy and realize writing this late (and documenting the process) was probably not a terrific idea. Nevertheless, I press on…

I grab a can of Diet Coke (one of 6 I’ll drink in this sitting [super unhealthy, I know] ) and put The Wonder Years on Netflix. I like to have something on TV that I watch passively for background noise. It can’t be something I’ll become fully engrossed in or nothing will get done.

I pick the laptop back up and finally open Final Draft (scriptwriting software) for the first time. Now, a more seasoned writer could probably dive right in and knock the whole sketch out in 10 minutes. I like to set the document up with the proper formatting (title, characters, etc) and sometimes the “Open on” line. Then, I click save and let the cursor blink for about 15 minutes.

2:10AM –

The premise for this sketch is a recording session for Garmin, the GPS company done with a random celebrity voice. Larry The Cable Guy, for some reason, was the original guy I had in mind. My original idea was just a full sketch of Larry The Cable Guy, but I think it might be a good setup for other oddball celebrities to come in and out (Christopher Walken, John Malcovich, etc). I think for right now, I’ll just keep it at Larry. Maybe I’ll do a second pass with the other celebrities.

2:18AM-

I’m trying to do more two-person conversation sketches lately. For now, I’ve written Dave in as the producer and myself in as Larry the Cable Guy. I don’t currently have a Larry impression, so if we ever wanted to shoot this, I’d have to learn the impression.

2:31AM-

Another Diet Coke.

I’m starting this sketch with a classic join-in-progress angle. The Producer is going to just finish up the session with a British Guy. He’ll leave, then we’ll bring in Larry the Cable Guy which will bring an entrance laugh.

The thing I need to be careful of is to make sure the time spent on everything before Larry’s entrance is worth it’s weight on the page. There need to be a couple throw-away jokes between the Producer and the British Guy (who I’m going to call Hugh), but not a laugh bigger than Larry’s entrance.

3:01AM-

Larry has entered. Now I’m having the Producer fill him (and the audience… see how I did that?) in on the sketch plot.

As I start to write Larry dialogue, I realize that I may not have his syntax and cadence down perfectly. I usually prefer to get things as close to perfect in the first draft, but it isn’t going to happen tonight. Instead, I’ll write lines that are more of the idea of what I want him to say. Tomorrow, I’ll pull up a few Larry videos on YouTube and rewrite his dialogue to sound more like him.

3:11AM-

I’ve established the way the scene is going to play out, and the Producer has re-entered the booth. The setup is complete and now I can just do a series of progressive jokes about Larry’s inability to understand the Garmin system and trying to give directions in his own unique way.

Fatigue is starting to creep in pretty heavy now. Usually, I’ll push on through, but since I’m taking the time to document the step-by-step, I think I’ll stretch this session into two days. Tomorrow, I’ll start in on the Larry jokes.

I leave the document open. Occasionally, I’ll get a mid-sleep jolt of inspiration and jump back on, but tonight I think I’m going to sleep pretty heavily.

3:21AM-

I realize I need to revisit page two and get into the comedy quicker. Larry needs to enter, they say the rules, and we get right into it by the time we hit page 3.

3:29AM-

Just want to point out how much it bothers me that I didn’t make it to the end tonight. I normally finish a first draft in one sitting and unfinished sketch drafts bug me until they’re finished.

DAY 2——-
1:14AM-

So, I ended my session last night having grown weary and a little bit stuck. The sketch didn’t do much in my brain between then and now.  I knew if I sat down and tried to pick up where I left off, I’d just be staring at the blinking cursor all night. I’m still determined to get a draft of this done. So what do I do? I write a completely different sketch as a warm-up to resumption of writing for this one. I won’t give you the details of that; I can’t be completely transparent. But let’s get into this:

1:21AM-

I’m rereading what I have last night. It’s not terrible, but I’m worried it’s going to run long and the laughs along the way may not be as big as I want.

I’m going to back up a little bit. Remember the idea I had about a series of recording sessions with different celebrity voices? I think I may try that. Just for tonight. It’s a little more predictable in terms of format, but the advantage here is that I can just hit joke after joke with it. Celebrity says a few funny lines, cut to next celebrity, a few funny lines, cut to next celebrity. Eh, let’s just try it…

Step 1: Save as a new version, then delete everything. Trust me, you want to do it in this order. The rage from accidentally saving after everything has been deleted is so blinding that you won’t want to write for a few days.

1:57AM-

I’ve got the Open On set and a couple sentences for an Announcer who will bridge the whole piece. It’s some pretty simple PR fluff. I’ve also established that these aren’t super famous celebrities and they’re in need of money. I’m hoping to call that back once or twice as this piece progresses.

Also, I’m just kind of pulling celebrities at this point and inserting them. If we shoot this, I’ll try to do impressions of most of them.

Another angle I may take is just using the voices. The visuals will be customers using the Garmin and the voices will only be heard. Those are production details that can be figured out later.

October 14, 2011

Things are a little awkward in the office right now… March 4, 2011

Every Conversation with my Dog August 13, 2010

Me: Do you wanna go out?

Dog: Bark!

Me: Do you wanna go out?!

Dog: Bark Bark!

Me: Do you wanna go out?!

Dog: YES, I WANT TO GO OUT! HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU GOING TO ASK ME?

Me: Wait, what?

Dog: Bark?

Me: No no, you just spoke fluent English for a second.

Dog: Bark?

Me: Don’t act like you didn’t.

Dog: Bark bark bark.

Me: That’s so weird.

Dog: Barksomethingaboutgoingoutbark.

Me: There! Right there! I knew it!

Dog: Bark bark?

Me: You spoke!

Dog: Bark bark bark bark.

Me: Well yeah, I guess it was more of a mumble, but still.

Dog: Bark bar– wait, you understood that?

Me: Bark?

Dog: Why have I been wasting my time learning English if you knew dog all along?

Me: Bark bark bark.

Dog: I hate you so much.

Me: Bark!

Dog: Look, are we ever going to go out, or should I just shit on your rug?

Me: No-no-no!

Dog: Bark bark bark bark bark bark. Bark!

Me: Bark bark!

Dog: Bark bark bark.

Me: Bark?

Dog: Bark!

Me: Bark bark bark, bark bark. Bark?

Dog: I’m sorry?

Me: What?

Dog: No, it’s just… I think your inflection was wrong.

Me: Which part?

Dog: Bark bark.

Me: Oh. Sorry.

Dog: Yeah, well…

Me: What?

Dog: Just, if you’re going to speak the language, do it right.

Me: Listen dog, you’ve really got a bad attitude. I liked it better when you didn’t speak English.

Dog: Would you like me to go back to just barking and you interpreting my body language?

Me: I would, as a matter of fact.

Dog: Okay, just do me a favor. Next time I clarify something to you in English, can you just accept it and move on?

Me: What do you mean?

Dog: You act amazed I can speak English every time I do it.

Me: You mean, this isn’t the first time?

Dog: No. 3rd or 4th, actually.

Me: Huh.

Dog: I know.

Me: You’d think I’d remember something as significant as that.

Dog: You’d think. Anyway. Bark bark bark.

Me: Do you wanna go out?

Dog: Bark!

Me: Do you wanna go out?!

Dog: Bark bark!

Me: Do you wanna go out?!

Dog: …

Me: No! Don’t shit on the rug!

My Response to “Jenny DryErase” August 11, 2010

In response to yesterday’s big link of the day, which was proven to be a hoax (found here: http://tinyurl.com/27nxryu).

Why I Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Name Children March 26, 2010

There’s a disturbing trend emerging in this country, one that threatens to destroy the proverbial fabric of our society. While it may go ignored or completely unnoticed today, it’s guaranteed to become unavoidably evident in the years and decades to come. If we don’t do something about it soon, future generations may be all but doomed.

So what are we talking about? Childhood obesity? No. A complete disregard for grammatical accuracy in today’s youth? No (but that’s going to kill us too). Subpar quality of popular music?  Getting colder. Destructive throw of balance of our planet’s ecosystem? No, now you’re way off. The steady decline of the American economy? Please stop guessing. The problem is even worse, and could end the lives of children, in some cases, before they’re even born: parents who give their kids horrendously awful names.

Right now, it seems to be incredibly popular to go beyond the normal names of years past. We all know a John. A Jason. An Emily. A Sue. Every now and then you get a Seth. A Brooke. Those are normal names. But now, I hear parents calling their kids Aiden and Wryenne and Shaya, and unless these are some awesome new curses I have yet to find out about, I can only assume those are the kids’ names.

Now I don’t currently have children (though from a quick glance at Facebook, I’m apparently in the 3% of my high school graduating class of 200 that didn’t bother to before I hit 19), so I’ll acknowledge I’m in the minority. But some of these names… my God. What are these parents thinking?! It’s like they grabbed a handful of Scrabble tiles and tried to make what they could out of that. It’s like they found a way to personify a typo. I feel like if these kids ever used a computer, spell check would highlight their name every time and  just say “Seriously, WTF is this?”

Young parents, I can understand the reasons for wanting your kid’s name to stand out from all the others. Pushing a “Chris” in the stroller isn’t exactly fashionable; much cooler to have a Colten or a Jayden. I even know a person who wants to name her kid Nevaeh. Yeah, I get it… it’s heaven spelled backwards. I wonder how long it’ll take the novelty to wear—aaaand the novelty’s gone. But let’s not stray too far from the point that you, the parent, are clearly trying to make. It’s all about how YOU look. It’s not like these kids are bound to become individuals that will have to function on their own someday. They’re an accessory; may as well have a cool name.

Look, if you’re committed to the idea of inventiveness, at LEAST go all the way with it. Stop combining parts of other names into a mega-name. Give them a name that means something. Go all out. The following are a list of names that I feel have been overlooked in the recent give-my-kid-a-weird-ass-name trend.

Analog – With DTV in full effect, not to mention the growing popularity of satellite and cable, today’s kids won’t know what it was like to have to adjust the rabbit-ears on the TV to catch the end of Animaniacs.

Phonix – Kids tend to take interest in things if they feel like they’re a part of it. Don’t you wish you’d been named Phonix? We do.

Cliché – The visual appeal of “Chloe” with a meaning much closer to its intent.

Bloodclot – Destined to be a heartbreaker. Plus, how awesome would this look tattooed?

Elleimmeno – They’re going to have to learn the alphabet anyway and will likely think these are all one letter at the beginning. Give them a halfway point to work for. A sense that they’re a part of something 22 letters larger than themselves.

Pringela – Will she be a stripper? Probably. But who doesn’t love Pringles?

Nuvaregina – Why not name them after the contraceptive that apparently failed? (for boys, consider Nuvaringo)

Verb – If you hate English teachers, name your child this. It’ll add an extra week to their lesson plan having to explain that a Verb is sometimes a noun.

Dianarrhea – All the good parts of Diana, some of the good sounds of Maria, and all the enjoyment of putting unnecessary letters in names. Try not to laugh if she turns out to be a runner.

Tazer – Keep in mind, choosing this name would obligate the child to a spiky hairstyle.

Xilo – Believe it or not, this is actually an improvement on the name Milo.

Zima – If you don’t know the sex of your child, go with this one. Plus, think of all the clothing you can get with his/her name on it.

All I’m trying to say, is if your kid’s named Spyder and your dog’s named Charlie, you’ve got a problem. So parents, before you go diving into that book of baby names, take a moment to think about what kind of an impact this is going to have on your kid in the future. I shudder at the thought of some day having a Senator Biyankka Robitussin Smith.

Bottom line, every child needs a name. My suggestion: upon naming your child, also provide them with literature on how they can legally change it.

Dieting, McDonalds, and Journalism: My Attempt at All Three March 24, 2010

Quick backstory: Recently, I lost 25 pounds on the Atkins diet (unfortunately, I still weigh more than a man of my age should). And since you start to burn muscle after two-ish months of eating nothing but bacon and steak, I decided last week to nix the Atkins plan and start counting calories. Unfortunately, I LOVE fried foods, so it’s been a constant battle of “should I eat awesome-tasting foods” versus “do I want to feel full?”

Enter Lance Armstrong. The Livestrong organization has a cool little program called “The Daily Plate,” which allows you to calculate calorie intake per day while factoring in exercise. A friend of mine lost 90-something pounds last year using it, which was enough of a testament for me to try it out. I played around with what my daily caloric intake should be, then calculated how many calories I burn just by walking to and from work everyday. I was shocked.

That’s where this conversation (with my roommate tga2001) begins…

Zac Ross (1:12:24 PM): so
Zac Ross (1:12:41 PM): I’ve learned I burn about 400-500 calories by walking to McDonalds
tga2001 (1:12:49 PM): lol, really?
Zac Ross (1:12:49 PM): which basically means free fries in my calorie count
tga2001 (1:12:56 PM): we should do this daily
Zac Ross (1:13:27 PM): I was just going to ask if you wanted to do that this evening
Zac Ross (1:13:45 PM): because while I like the prospect of losing weight, I LOVE the prospect of being able to eat french fries every day
tga2001 (1:14:02 PM): exactly
tga2001 (1:14:12 PM): especially the mcdonalds french fries
Zac Ross (1:14:26 PM): yes
Zac Ross (1:14:28 PM): so how bout it?
tga2001 (1:14:34 PM): i’ll be ready
tga2001 (1:14:56 PM): also: willing and able
Zac Ross (1:17:25 PM): Haha
Zac Ross (1:17:42 PM): if it was a headline it’d say “Hagan Ready; Also Willing, Able”
tga2001 (1:18:16 PM): subtitle: “McDonalds Fries Not Granted Reprieve”
Zac Ross (1:18:42 PM): Hahahaha
Zac Ross (1:19:16 PM): McDonalds: Supplies May Not Sustain Ross’ Diet Plan
tga2001 (1:20:30 PM): Costs Rise As McDonalds Fry Shortage Continues
Zac Ross (1:21:50 PM): Celebrity Fundraiser To Raise Money For McDonalds Relief Efforts
Zac Ross (1:22:53 PM): McDonalds Manager: Should Have Put Extra Fry Basket Down Before Ross/Hagan Visit
tga2001 (1:23:06 PM): Fries: ARRRRRghGHhhhhh
Zac Ross (1:23:45 PM): Related: Jack-in-the-Box — Who Are You Kidding?
tga2001 (1:24:33 PM): Nancy Grace: “What kind of society do we live in that let’s 20 year olds eat french fries?!”
Zac Ross (1:25:05 PM): Maury: I Sold Myself for McNuggets
tga2001 (1:25:45 PM): Larry King: Spike in McDonlads sales related to UFO sightings?