The Zac Files

A Typical Night of Writing (Updated Frequently) October 14, 2011

Getting ready to write a sketch tonight. For me, the prep is just about as important as the actual writing. Step 1: I’ve waited to start until 12:40 AM. Absolutely critical. I’ve sat down at my desk and have immediately searched for a distraction to writing, which in this case is writing this blog post.

On my wall I have post-it notes of things I would like to write. Right now, most of it is ideas for a Community spec script I’m working on, but a few are sketch ideas. There’s no color code for which ones are sketches and which are for the spec (I could only afford two colors of post-it notes). Anyhow, here are a couple of them. I’m considering writing one tonight, unless a better idea comes my way.

I think I’m going to work on the Garmin Recordings sketch. The next step is to leave my computer and do something else while I let ideas drift into my head for this. That begins now.

1:10AM –

I almost always clean my kitchen before I write. It happens to work out that my frequency in writing directly parallels the frequency of my kitchen needing to be clean.

 Kitchen Before

Kitchen After. Most noticable difference: the Coke box was thrown away.

1:50AM-

Kitchen is clean and I start to get sleepy and realize writing this late (and documenting the process) was probably not a terrific idea. Nevertheless, I press on…

I grab a can of Diet Coke (one of 6 I’ll drink in this sitting [super unhealthy, I know] ) and put The Wonder Years on Netflix. I like to have something on TV that I watch passively for background noise. It can’t be something I’ll become fully engrossed in or nothing will get done.

I pick the laptop back up and finally open Final Draft (scriptwriting software) for the first time. Now, a more seasoned writer could probably dive right in and knock the whole sketch out in 10 minutes. I like to set the document up with the proper formatting (title, characters, etc) and sometimes the “Open on” line. Then, I click save and let the cursor blink for about 15 minutes.

2:10AM –

The premise for this sketch is a recording session for Garmin, the GPS company done with a random celebrity voice. Larry The Cable Guy, for some reason, was the original guy I had in mind. My original idea was just a full sketch of Larry The Cable Guy, but I think it might be a good setup for other oddball celebrities to come in and out (Christopher Walken, John Malcovich, etc). I think for right now, I’ll just keep it at Larry. Maybe I’ll do a second pass with the other celebrities.

2:18AM-

I’m trying to do more two-person conversation sketches lately. For now, I’ve written Dave in as the producer and myself in as Larry the Cable Guy. I don’t currently have a Larry impression, so if we ever wanted to shoot this, I’d have to learn the impression.

2:31AM-

Another Diet Coke.

I’m starting this sketch with a classic join-in-progress angle. The Producer is going to just finish up the session with a British Guy. He’ll leave, then we’ll bring in Larry the Cable Guy which will bring an entrance laugh.

The thing I need to be careful of is to make sure the time spent on everything before Larry’s entrance is worth it’s weight on the page. There need to be a couple throw-away jokes between the Producer and the British Guy (who I’m going to call Hugh), but not a laugh bigger than Larry’s entrance.

3:01AM-

Larry has entered. Now I’m having the Producer fill him (and the audience… see how I did that?) in on the sketch plot.

As I start to write Larry dialogue, I realize that I may not have his syntax and cadence down perfectly. I usually prefer to get things as close to perfect in the first draft, but it isn’t going to happen tonight. Instead, I’ll write lines that are more of the idea of what I want him to say. Tomorrow, I’ll pull up a few Larry videos on YouTube and rewrite his dialogue to sound more like him.

3:11AM-

I’ve established the way the scene is going to play out, and the Producer has re-entered the booth. The setup is complete and now I can just do a series of progressive jokes about Larry’s inability to understand the Garmin system and trying to give directions in his own unique way.

Fatigue is starting to creep in pretty heavy now. Usually, I’ll push on through, but since I’m taking the time to document the step-by-step, I think I’ll stretch this session into two days. Tomorrow, I’ll start in on the Larry jokes.

I leave the document open. Occasionally, I’ll get a mid-sleep jolt of inspiration and jump back on, but tonight I think I’m going to sleep pretty heavily.

3:21AM-

I realize I need to revisit page two and get into the comedy quicker. Larry needs to enter, they say the rules, and we get right into it by the time we hit page 3.

3:29AM-

Just want to point out how much it bothers me that I didn’t make it to the end tonight. I normally finish a first draft in one sitting and unfinished sketch drafts bug me until they’re finished.

DAY 2——-
1:14AM-

So, I ended my session last night having grown weary and a little bit stuck. The sketch didn’t do much in my brain between then and now.  I knew if I sat down and tried to pick up where I left off, I’d just be staring at the blinking cursor all night. I’m still determined to get a draft of this done. So what do I do? I write a completely different sketch as a warm-up to resumption of writing for this one. I won’t give you the details of that; I can’t be completely transparent. But let’s get into this:

1:21AM-

I’m rereading what I have last night. It’s not terrible, but I’m worried it’s going to run long and the laughs along the way may not be as big as I want.

I’m going to back up a little bit. Remember the idea I had about a series of recording sessions with different celebrity voices? I think I may try that. Just for tonight. It’s a little more predictable in terms of format, but the advantage here is that I can just hit joke after joke with it. Celebrity says a few funny lines, cut to next celebrity, a few funny lines, cut to next celebrity. Eh, let’s just try it…

Step 1: Save as a new version, then delete everything. Trust me, you want to do it in this order. The rage from accidentally saving after everything has been deleted is so blinding that you won’t want to write for a few days.

1:57AM-

I’ve got the Open On set and a couple sentences for an Announcer who will bridge the whole piece. It’s some pretty simple PR fluff. I’ve also established that these aren’t super famous celebrities and they’re in need of money. I’m hoping to call that back once or twice as this piece progresses.

Also, I’m just kind of pulling celebrities at this point and inserting them. If we shoot this, I’ll try to do impressions of most of them.

Another angle I may take is just using the voices. The visuals will be customers using the Garmin and the voices will only be heard. Those are production details that can be figured out later.